There is something wonderful about hearing an air conditioner quietly chug on when it is 110 outside.  Gone is the worry about weather, wind and rain.  Robert is happy at his job.  Geoffrey is now as tall as me and his feet are now a big toe longer.  Emily and Geoffrey are both healthier and happier.  We have switched to all organic meat that is specially packaged.  I found out that the chemical that made me sick over 20 years ago is now being used to disinfect meat counters.  It is potentially lethal if ingested and is linked to autism.  It is the reason that meats boil away when you try and cook them and why they taste so "spicy".  In fact, if you order a steak in a restaurant, they use a lot of spice to cover up the taste.  My mom knows because she had no problem in South Africa but has had digestive problems with regular meat.

 Oh, well....

 I know it has been awhile since I last logged on.  I forgot my password, forgot how to use the programs and was busy sleeping and getting stronger.  I do well here.

I didn't post because it was cold, I was gathering firewood, it was cold, I had a cold, I had a flu, I was just plain blue.  I also wasn't eating much because money was short and I wanted to make sure the kids ate well.  I also didn't post because I didn't know what was going to happen next.  My husband landed a job 4 hours away in an area that I couldn't live if I wanted to get stronger and better. 

We got beautiful teepees to get out of the rain and cold. The romantic fires I burned caused the kids to smell like "barbeque potato chips", as one kid put it and gave me bronchitis.  We got the teepees because the tent city we sprawled out in just wasn't cutting it in the wind and rain.  I found that making a web of light rope and putting plastic up that drained outward, the teepees stayed dry inside if there wasn't a fire.  The electric bill was atrocious, I am afraid to say.  My mother joined us after coming out from South Africa.  We all huddled, waiting.  My elder brother helped out, but we couldn't find a rental that was safe enough.  If I were to do it over, I would have gotten simple wood stoves and pipe and done it right.  I didn't think winter would be as long as it seemed.

Finally, we now have a home with my mother and the kids are in normal school.  I am finally warm.  I see the people who don't even have a decent tent.  How hard it must be, how breaking.  I had family, that without, my dispair would have been mind numbing (even spoiled as I am, it was hard.)  My mother thinks that I have parkinson's, but I think I can get better.  I am getting stronger every day and where we are has fairly clean air.  The less often I have an outbreak, the harder the symptoms are to trigger.

Winter is finallly over.  The teepees will go up again, just for fun.  I will keep them, a life raft for my bumpy life.

There are many ways to be rich.  Some are rich in family, with warmth and caring, with joyful sharing.  Others are rich in things.

In losing so much, I have learned what I actually have.  I have a friend, who in her kindness, has allowed us a place to land until we get our lives pulled together.  A friend, who dispite her own trials, opened her house to us. I have friends that I write to, who understand what we go through.  I have people who share laughter.  I have my joyful children.  Children who have known hardship, cruelty, illness and fear, yet can find laughter in the simplist things.  I have found my mother, who now understands me like she never was able to before. 

I have a flexibility that I didn't think I could find.  I must admit that flexiblity comes with more crying and tantrums than I think others express, but I don't know.  When we moved here, the siamese cat clawed to stay in the motor home, and then pressed his head against the wall in a total act of emotional dispair and distress.  I had to pet him and coax him to calm down, totally understanding that desire to press my head against the wall and not move.  He just got too stinky, marking everything in his distress.

When you lose everything that you think you value, you learn what is real.  You also learn who is real.  I pity the wealthy that others fawn over, for who really can they trust, who really is their friend?  Who really cares?  One can only really know that when one has hit close to rock bottom.  I have lost my health, my home, my garden, but I am still wealthy with my children, my husband and my friends.

It is much nicer to have the flu when the air is warm and the days balmy. The weirdest flu I have ever had.  Still feeling blue.  Can't get my children into regular school without a full physical.  No medical....  Online it still is.  They want to go to regular school so they can make friends but the school allows teachers to use plug in air fresheners.  Rather than clean up the schools, they would want my kids on medications to control the problems they would have with the air fresheners....  Having been a teacher who got ill while working, schools are not safe, they are not clean.  Kids are just put on meds if they can't do well in school. 

It is hard to post here when I have to compete with my children for computer time.  They are using an online school program (K12).  My husband still has not found a teaching position, being highly qualified in both special ed and regular ed.  It is cheaper for a district to hire interns and temporary workers to save money.  The California educational system is looking to lose even more money soon with the further budget crisis.

As the weather cools, the cramped quarters of our 29 fter is taking its toll.  My daughter has vacated to a tent in frustration.  We still have not tried out the water system, since there is stuff loaded in the tub and counters.  Our friend has allowed us to use her shower and bathroom, and I am finding my family more sprawled in her house than in ours.  Since she has a propane stove, I find my self alone more often than not.  (propane takes my brain away.)

My neurologist had told me that many of the involuntary movements of my body were because of nerve damage in the spine.  I just found out that I have stage 2 osteoarthritis in parts of my back and the X-rays show some problems that could be fixed, if I had the money.  No decent insurance, not enough money, so pain continues to reign.  I cannot play the guitar anymore and I am losing feeling in some of my fingers.

My back is hurting worse also because I ate popcorn (but it tasted so good!) and because I drove by those yellow flowering plants that are blooming right now along roadways and in the desert.  My voice went hoarse and I still feel lousy and itchy.

Just plain feeling sorry for myself right now.  Oh well.

It was with tremendous sadness that we said goodby to our friends and neighbors.  I couldn't even look at the roses or trees.  There is no word to describe the sorrow one feels when dreams fall to dust.  I can only hope my children's friends hang on to the knowledge of how important they are and how much they are missed.

As to my health, leaving the desert was like losing a stone collar from around my shoulders.  My back pain faded, my eyes brightened and I have been able to stop taking seizure medicine.  The desert is such a complex place and over 2 years ago the doctor wanted me out of there.  I didn't realize that it would make such a difference to leave.  For those of you who miss us and we miss, we are feeling better, although still sad.

I get fresh goat milk daily and my hands are getting stronger.  I still cannot milk a goat by myself, but I am getting stronger each day.

Well, I finished the front, hung some curtains, did most of the flooring and have yet to check out the water system.  We had a few drawbacks, like needing new fuel pumps, bent rods and stuck valves, new hoses and fuel lines.  We still have to replace some tires and brakes.  Lastly, we have to also fill the fuel tanks, so we are still grounded.

The front that I rebuilt can now support over 500 lbs of weight (would you believe it?) and people laugh when they see the cute little spindles in the front put there mostly for my peace of mind.

Took the kids hiking and camping to get a break.

It has been a long, long hot summer.  We have almost all of the house broken down and packed.  We got to stay long enough to enjoy the grapes, peaches and apples that I had planted 5 years ago.  I will miss them. 

Because of our up and coming "homelessness", I am devoting almost all of my energy revamping the motorhome.  I have had to rebuild the front and am cleaning and painting and sewing as my energy allows.

So please realize, this website is almost less than a work in progress.