There are many ways to be rich.  Some are rich in family, with warmth and caring, with joyful sharing.  Others are rich in things.

In losing so much, I have learned what I actually have.  I have a friend, who in her kindness, has allowed us a place to land until we get our lives pulled together.  A friend, who dispite her own trials, opened her house to us. I have friends that I write to, who understand what we go through.  I have people who share laughter.  I have my joyful children.  Children who have known hardship, cruelty, illness and fear, yet can find laughter in the simplist things.  I have found my mother, who now understands me like she never was able to before. 

I have a flexibility that I didn't think I could find.  I must admit that flexiblity comes with more crying and tantrums than I think others express, but I don't know.  When we moved here, the siamese cat clawed to stay in the motor home, and then pressed his head against the wall in a total act of emotional dispair and distress.  I had to pet him and coax him to calm down, totally understanding that desire to press my head against the wall and not move.  He just got too stinky, marking everything in his distress.

When you lose everything that you think you value, you learn what is real.  You also learn who is real.  I pity the wealthy that others fawn over, for who really can they trust, who really is their friend?  Who really cares?  One can only really know that when one has hit close to rock bottom.  I have lost my health, my home, my garden, but I am still wealthy with my children, my husband and my friends.

It is much nicer to have the flu when the air is warm and the days balmy. The weirdest flu I have ever had.  Still feeling blue.  Can't get my children into regular school without a full physical.  No medical....  Online it still is.  They want to go to regular school so they can make friends but the school allows teachers to use plug in air fresheners.  Rather than clean up the schools, they would want my kids on medications to control the problems they would have with the air fresheners....  Having been a teacher who got ill while working, schools are not safe, they are not clean.  Kids are just put on meds if they can't do well in school. 

It is hard to post here when I have to compete with my children for computer time.  They are using an online school program (K12).  My husband still has not found a teaching position, being highly qualified in both special ed and regular ed.  It is cheaper for a district to hire interns and temporary workers to save money.  The California educational system is looking to lose even more money soon with the further budget crisis.

As the weather cools, the cramped quarters of our 29 fter is taking its toll.  My daughter has vacated to a tent in frustration.  We still have not tried out the water system, since there is stuff loaded in the tub and counters.  Our friend has allowed us to use her shower and bathroom, and I am finding my family more sprawled in her house than in ours.  Since she has a propane stove, I find my self alone more often than not.  (propane takes my brain away.)

My neurologist had told me that many of the involuntary movements of my body were because of nerve damage in the spine.  I just found out that I have stage 2 osteoarthritis in parts of my back and the X-rays show some problems that could be fixed, if I had the money.  No decent insurance, not enough money, so pain continues to reign.  I cannot play the guitar anymore and I am losing feeling in some of my fingers.

My back is hurting worse also because I ate popcorn (but it tasted so good!) and because I drove by those yellow flowering plants that are blooming right now along roadways and in the desert.  My voice went hoarse and I still feel lousy and itchy.

Just plain feeling sorry for myself right now.  Oh well.